American Legion Post 974, Franklin Park, IL

Veterans Still Serving Our Community

Rules for the Non-military (from e-mail)

Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in
our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the
    For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here
are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
    1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat)
during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.
    2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American
in protest - kick their ass.
    3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the
highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing
otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought
for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the
many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold
them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
    4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you
were.. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling
others that you used to be 'Special Forces'. Collecting GI Joe
memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it
will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
    5. Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask
them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such
ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
    6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard
"non-military", inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass.
    7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade,
get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over
your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to
be carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn
you a severe ass-kicking..
    8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or
veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our
party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our
Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is
our CinC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what
happens inside those big important buildings where all those
representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian
representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to
go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions
repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked.
    9. "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me - stop
saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore
would kick your ass!
    10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying
"Let's go kill those Commies!" And stop asking us where he is! Crystal
balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me - if you
see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I
can go kick their ass!
    11. "'Flyboy" (Air Force), "Jarhead" (Marines), "Grunt" (Army),
"Squid" (Navy), "Puddle Jumpers" (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of
endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member
or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get
your ass kicked.
    12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of
the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving
and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please
remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors,
marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their
families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every
day. Without them, our Country would get it's ass kicked.
    "It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the
freedom of the press."   
    "It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of
    "It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the
freedom to demonstrate."
    "It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the
flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester
to burn the flag."

    If you got this email and didn't pass it on - guess what? -

    you deserve to get your ass kicked!
    I sent this to you, because I didn't want to get my ass kicked.
    AND because I really liked the message it sends!